Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Vegaaaaasss!!!!

“Hi, my name is Rome and I am your tour guide today.” Yes folks, once again I shall throw out some pointers on the city of sin. When you fly into McCarran Airport (Las Vegas), make a B-Line to the taxis. On a weekend, especially a three day weekend or fight night weekend, lines can be as long as two hours. Yes, not a typo folks. If it is summertime, the temperature outside in the taxi lines can be 110 degrees Fahrenheit. Just hot enough that you can actually catch on fire. If you are staying in one of the newer hotels (Luxor, Bellagio, Aladdin Hotel, etc.) tell the taxi driver you want the local route and not the highway. The driver will take tourist a route that will cost you about 15 more dollars when a road right next to the hotels will get you their in five to ten minutes and a lot cheaper.

Hotel Information: If you are into the clubbing, shopping and seeing the different type of Vegas shows, then you want to stay on the Strip. You have the newer hotels, equipped with your high end stores such as Hermes, Armani, Parada, etc. but you also have your Lacoste, Lucky Brand, and French Connection. My favorite hotel for price and location is Aladdin’s Hotel. Aladdin (soon to be Planet Hollywood) is located dead center in the middle of the Strip with walking distance to almost any hotel. The rooms are nice and price is very affordable.

Now some information for you gamblers. If you show up with a small bank roll but want the free cocktail drinks and the Vegas experience, play Texas Hold’em Poker. Now if you are not sure how to play, watch the movie Rounders with Matt Damon. I have watched people play for four hours on hundred dollars. Now the game to stay away from is the Roulette Wheel. Speed of this game will send you home faster then President Bush at speech convention. I have seen a person lose a hundred dollars in three minutes playing Roulette.

Here is the information for you people who want to live the Vegas motto, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” I am talking about clubbing scene. Now each Vegas club will boast they are the best in town. Not so fast my friend (Lee Corso ESPN College Gameday Reference). Each club has a particularly night that they are the center of the clubbing universe. I will give you my recommendations based off personal experience, wink wink. On Tuesdays, make a run to Caesars Palace for club Pure. Awesome design with a gorgeous patio area looking over the strip. If it’s Wednesday, make a trip to Treasure Island for club Tangerine. Not visually stunning as club Pure but the ladies are ten plus. Thursday to Sunday, make a trip to Palms Hotel for Club Rain. Club Rain will make the best list for the world if they had one. Now I would love to go into detail about my adventures to Vegas this week but I would be breaking the code. I will say that Vegas has treated me so well that I am planning my next trip the moment I get back to the Mile High. Birthday time is coming around soon, so maybe I will make a return trip to celebrate. Apologize for not taking pictures, because these eyes have seen so much. For the second time ever, my knees locked looking at a girl. First time was with Frank in Niemaus Marcus. He can tell you that girl was off the radar but I think this girl at Club Tangerine was from another galaxy. Well ladies and gents, time to retire. Everyone have fun and stay safe.

Rome
“All roads lead to Rome”
Full Disclosure- Rome was not paid or given gifts for his recommendations on Vegas.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Drivers wanted

Ok, so to take a break from studying my rear end off my pops and I went to enjoy life a little bit. The pictures should say everything. The experience of driving a new M5, I believe, would be comparable to getting shot out of a cannon, with the exception that slower cars are in your way. My goodness, this thing was terrifyingly quick. I could swear we hit warp speed somewhere between here and Munich (Autobahn, no speed limits). Too bad other drivers aren't used to having a rocket come up, and so they rarely move in time, and some buttholes didn't want to move at all. I finally had to pass one guy on the right, after flashing the brights for minutes. The Porsche on the other hand gets more respect, people move. Well, except for some goof in an Audi station wagon, who thought he was pimp. I pimped slapped his ass outta the way. All in all, two totally different cars, and I want both.

thank goodness we had some rare sunshine

nice rear too

not to forget this car, a little less power, but not too bad

M5 as in 500 hp and 500 lb-ft torque, and 5 liter V10

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Round 2

All right boys and girls, here is round two of tips for all of you out of the know. Here is a recent discovery that will help all you men out. Always, and I mean always, Carry chapstick. I guarentee you that every night that you are out someone will ask for some. The key is to be the who over hears such a request. You then whip it out and offer it to her...later that night she will want to kiss it off your lips...and then whip something of yours out. The brand doesn't matter, I use carmex. Some woman are turned off by its taste, but many enjoy the sweetgoodness. Also, if you have something super fruity and flavorful, you look like a gay. Next, why do girls think that guys will like them more if they makeout with another woman. Granted it is hot when you are watching two playmates or stipers doing it, but not someone you know. Woman have this HUGE misconception that seeing them with a woman will make them more attractive. The reverse is true. You see your girl, or a girl you like kissing another woman it will make you sick. Not only do you have to worry that she may cheat on you with a man, but now she may cheat on you with a woman. Gross...Well that is all I have time for now, but I will be back here soon

Sunday, May 22, 2005

"Confirmation"

Whats up Ladies and Gents? Allow me to introduce myself, my name is humpty, pronounced with a dumpty…… Digital Undergound. Okay all jokes aside Jerome is my name but more affectionately known as ROME in most circles. I want to keep this site running constantly and asked that all of you do the same with comments, pics and statements. I know someone is out there thinks this is cheesy. All I have to say, don’t be that guy or girl (Rome will never discriminate on race, faith and gender especially if you are a girl) be part of it. Now I am no Hunter S. Thompson or Thoreau, so if you see a grammatical mistake, or too much slang, keep it to yourself or I will be force to open a can on you. Now that we have the introductions and threats out of the way, let’s begin.

Let me give a round of applause to Bates the Bombastic for a hilarious column on the site. In the department of picking up ladies, this guy is the Yoda of the group. We all sit back in amazement. You try to take all the pointers you can but stay far away enough that you don’t throw any salt in his game. Now Bates put out a “Dummy Version” for the rest of us who want to be a baller, a little bit taller, drive a fat...…little bit of Skee-Lo for you. Bate’s plan is simple and doesn’t require you to work on Wall Street or look like Vin Diesel’s body double. Now I know all of you are thinking, “how in the hell does he know?”

Let me give you exhibit A. Your test study was yours truly. We made sure the conditions would be as sterile and unbiased as possible. We all agreed that Vegas was the right environment. At the 1.9 Billion Dollar Bellagio hotel and resort, I was able to spend some quality time at the bar, Carmel, inside the hotel, with a lovely lady from Brazil. His advice worked like a charm. I highly recommend his advice to those who are struggling in the trenches. Side Note: the tips help but they don’t deliver miracles. The most successful people are those who failed the most in life. Now don’t throw yourself at anything with a heartbeat. Keep your composure and standards intact regardless of how many Coors or Beck’s (depending on what side of the pond) you had. Take care everyone.

Rome
“All roads lead to Rome”

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Contributions from afar

Whats up Ladies and Gents? Allow me to introduce myself, my name is humpty, pronounced with a dumpty…… Digital Undergound. Okay all jokes aside Jerome is my name but more affectionately known as ROME in most circles. I want to keep this site running constantly and asked that all of you do the same with comments, pics and statements. I know someone is out there thinks this is cheesy. All I have to say, don’t be that guy or girl (Rome will never discriminate on race, faith and gender especially if you are a girl) be part of it. Now I am no Hunter S. Thompson or Thoreau, so if you see a grammatical mistake, or too much slang, keep it to yourself or I will be force to open a can on you. Now that we have the introductions and threats out of the way, let’s begin.

Let me give a round of applause to Bates the Bombastic for a hilarious column on the site. In the department of picking up ladies, this guy is the Yoda of the group. We all sit back in amazement. You try to take all the pointers you can but stay far away enough that you don’t throw any salt in his game. Now Bates put out a “Dummy Version” for the rest of us who want to be a baller, a little bit taller, drive a fat...…little bit of Skee-Lo for you. Bate’s plan is simple and doesn’t require you to work on Wall Street or look like Vin Diesel’s body double. Now I know all of you are thinking, “how in the hell does he know?”

Let me give you exhibit A. Your test study was yours truly. We made sure the conditions would be as sterile and unbiased as possible. We all agreed that Vegas was the right environment. At the 1.9 Billion Dollar Bellagio hotel and resort, I was able to spend some quality time at the bar, Carmel, inside the hotel, with a lovely lady from Brazil. His advice worked like a charm. I highly recommend his advice to those who are struggling in the trenches. Side Note: the tips help but they don’t deliver miracles. The most successful people are those who failed the most in life. Now don’t throw yourself at anything with a heartbeat. Keep your composure and standards intact regardless of how many Coors or Beck’s (depending on what side of the pond) you had. Take care everyone.

Rome
“All roads lead to Rome”

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

OH NO!!!

Ok, you know, it's just not funny anymore. It just got worse! Now Heidi Klum is off the market. Yes, she married that Seal dude. I didn't even have the chance to meet her, and spit all the game I had, life's not fair. Looks like I'm heading back to the ocean to find some other fish.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Oddities and other meticulous statements

Never a day goes by without learning something new, something interesting, something wise, or something useless, and sometimes it's all of those at once. Thus I ask you what have you learned lately?
I for one have made many a discovery this week. It started off with a memorable bike ride. In all actuality it wasn't a true bike ride, as I was inside, on a stationary spinning bike due to inclement weather, which actually lead to the discovery. Guys, listen up. Never assume that: just because a bike has a soft saddle is it comfortable. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Turns out these soft seats are really designed more for the female rear end. To describe what actually happens would take a biology book, but suffice it to say, that one can ride a regular bike, that has a hard saddle for a few hours without any pain in the family jewels area. This is because your butt bones actually create enough space between saddle and johnson that the twins are safe. Whereas a spinning bike has such a soft saddle that your bones sag down, releasing a torrent of pressure on the package that cannot be tolerated for much longer than 15 minutes. All in all I must say I looked like Lance Armstrong, never had I ridden a bike so long without my ass being in the saddle. People must have wondered why I don't just run, it's not like I'm using the bike correctly anyway.
There were a few other, less biologically oriented dicoveries this week as well, but I will tell those another day, as I have to get to bed now. But I will leave you with the funniest saying I have heard in a while. Read it, think about it, and enjoy! (it's translated but shouldn't loose much of the humor)
"And out of the chaos came a voice and said: 'be glad and thankful, for it could get worse!'
And I was happy and thankful.........................and it got worse!"
Oh, man, how funny is that, huh?

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